Thursday, September 13, 2007

HAPPINESS IS LIKE A BOOMERANG Category: Life I just speant 20 minutes reading somebody else's recipe for instant happiness, and they mostly talked about everything BUT what makes them happy. Finally at the end of the page it said "Buy my book". I decided I should write my own instead and try to get to the point quicker. Here it is. Happiness is an emotional boomerang, the better you throw it out the more it comes back at you. To become happy, first, you must decide happiness is a worthy thing in itself, separate from money, the appreciation of others, and independent of any other goals or dreams you may set for yourself. Here is how I decided to become happy. I asked myself "Do I want to be happy?" My answer was immeadiate, "Yes!" Happiness is a feeling you can nurture and it can accompany you through hardship and even nurture others. It doesn't cost anything. You can die happy. You can suffer physical pain and still be happy. It is a thing in itself and you just have to look for it and know it is in you anytime you need it, and let it take you over. All you have to loose is your self-pity. That is not such a high price to pay for happiness, is it? We may not always control events around us, but we are the directors of the experience of our lives. Depression, sadness, pain, emotional and physical, is something one can learn to direct and tune out after we have benefitted by the knowledge it can offer. At the worst, suffering in any kind can teach us about the pain of our fellow man, and we may be able to guide them out of the abyss once we climb out ourselves. That is the thought that helps me when I am most unhappy because it helps me to objectify pain and separate myself from the suffering by giving me a useful goal within this pain. Once I have a goal, I can occupy myself with that instead of the primary experience, satisfy that, and move on. Another comforting thought that helps bring me out of misery is the consideration that people who, from their exterior view seem to have all life's chances, beauty, success, wealth, still sometimes commit suicide. If you can have everything that life can offer and still kill yourself, then these goals MAY NOT BE ALL THEY'RE CRACKED UP TO BE! In fact, it is better not to have a goal on a mental pedistal in your head, it is better to just tell yourself, "I'm doin it"...and not "I'm going to do it". When you concentrate on the actual act of realising your goal instead of the goal itself, you gain the first hand benefit of the act. When you focus on the idea of the goal, the myth, then when you achieve it it's like you only read about it, not like you actually did it. When all else fails, I look to my own shortcomings for an advantage. I love to procrastinate and it can ruin my best plans sometimes. So, why not put it to a good use? Why not procrastinate to be miserable? Sometimes happiness is a cruel yo-yo with a tangled rope. Have you ever achieved your goal and had the shock that it did not bring happiness? Some people seem to waste their whole lives pursuing a goal and when they reach it and find it did not bring them happiness, they loose all footing and crash. I think the best prevention against this is focusing on how your goal can serve others and not just yourself. In fact, the joy you bring to others is what will bring you long term happiness, not the attainment of a goal. The memory of joy somebody else brought to you can bring longterm happiness. Sharing that with others can bring longterm happiness. Another way out of misery is to decide you have had enough suffering and just say no. Think of it as chocolate or ice cream or drugs, anything you are tempted to over indulge in. If you are capable of stepping away from the plate before your pants split, then do that with your plate of misery. Don't get out the tupperware, scrape it directly into the garbage. You had enough already. Look at the things that make you happy and arrange time to include them in your life. Some self-sacrifice can also bring happiness, so it doesn't mean you should become a selfish pig. That will probably not make you happy, it could make you miserable. If you think you are ugly, why don't you think a moment about the "you" inside "you". Is there beauty there? Is there something worth sharing, or do you just want confirmation from outside that you are great? If everybody wanted nothing but attention and applause, life would be boring and empty, there would be no give and take. If you are looking non-stop for attention and approval, you probably won't enjoy the response even if you get it, so find another perspective or you will be trapped. Avoid setting traps for yourself. Know your weaknesses and respect them. Find positive aspects for your weaknesses and do not gloat on them like excuses to fail and be unhappy. If your weakness is like fly paper, don't stand in the rosebushes, hang yourself where you can catch some flies and get some use out of your attributes. Every weakness has some hidden advantage, you just have to look at it the right way. Don't avoid looking at your shortcomings, take a good hard look. Figure out what part you inherited. Was grandaddy handed this pitfall like a gold watch, then he handed it down to your daddy to you...if it survived all this time, maybe it's time to learn how to USE it. Once you learn how to exploit your own weakness, you may develope a callous over it and turn it into an asset. Often the drawback has a built in cure. Like with procrastination, for me the best way to avoid the problem of procrastination is to "procrastinate to procrastinate". That is my way to jump-start a dreaded chore. The dread is always more painful than the chore itself. This cuts suffering down dramatically, and saves more time for being happy. See how it works? Robo-fun Robo-kill Robo-eat Robo-love If you feel like you are become a robot and this is necessary because you have a job to do, OK, but sometimes you have to give it up or you get "carpal syndrome"....work related injuries. Just like if you eat nothing but soybeans you can develope an alergy to them. Too much of anything is too much. 1:46 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove